According to research, 1,300 step or blended families are formed everyday and 30 million children under the age of 13 are living in a step or blended family.
Currently many of us are born or raised or related to someone in a blended family. And for some reason, we are struggling with several issues like identity crisis, hot temperedness etc. But how can we ensure that the past mistakes are not passed on to the younger generation?
On the other hand, having children doesn’t mean that your life has ended. But, it means you have a responsibility to raise them into responsible adults who can take care of themselves and not become a burden to you and society at large.
A story is told of Amelia, a young woman, 35 years of age who met Josef and they fell in love and got married. Josef was divorced with 5 children (1 girl and 4 boys aged 15, 12,10 , 8 and 4 respectively) and Amelia had none but they were committed to raising their children in a safe and harmonious home.
Before marriage , Josef introduced Amelia to the children on her birthday as a friend after which they would casually meet and try to let the children know Amelia and for Amelia to know the children as well.
Josef’s children quickly warmed up to Amelia except for the 10 year old boy who openly shared his feelings about how he never wanted Amelia to replace his mother and his mother would soon come back. This boy was equivalent to 10 mischievous children, he pulled all sorts of stunts on Amelia, some even life threatening .
All in all, it is difficult to get children to blend in a blended family. Often, there will be a child or several of them who are against the whole idea of the blended family. But, there are also those who are warm and will even request their parents to get a partner. It takes a lot of patience and being intentional about several aspects of the relationship to actually make it work.
How do you as a parent maintain or create that bond between you and your children when your children are being raised by someone else. What is the fate and future of those children?
And what are the pros and cons of bringing your children into the relationship?
We have also witnessed or heard of children being abused in some of these relationships by either partners.
How do you create a peaceful and a safe environment for the children and the spouses?
Author: Ajal Mary Theodorah
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