Life is beautiful but also filled with unpredictable, unfamiliar or scary or out of control occurrences. That most times leaves us helpless, lost , afraid and in denial.
It took me a very long time to come to terms with my father’s passing and the many experiences that came along with it. And because of living in denial , it drove me to blaming others for my life experiences and trying to fix what couldn’t be fixed. Yet Life would have been so beautiful and easy to go by, had I just realized it sooner.
It took me about 15years to accept that my father had passed on and he was never coming back. Life has continued without him, it has been scary, challenging but I have lived on.
Acceptance of whatever situation it might be, whether detroriting health, struggles in relationships, financial challenges, trauma among others. Have a strong will towards making the best of what you have at the moment, to pave way for the best there can be . And taking action towards transformation of what is possible brings amidst the storms, unwavering hope, peace and Joy .
Today, it is very easy to take some of the simplest yet very important things in life for granted, like saying thank you.
This is sometimes because some individuals have never experienced what it means to have nothing or have been spoon fed most of their life. Which has sawn the seed of entitlement so deep that they feel they deserve it all.
That no matter what those around them go through to meet their needs or wants or whatever it is, they really don’t care .
Or sometimes you may view the efforts someone is putting towards supporting you in whatever way , family, work etc as insignificant in your own opinion yet to them , it’s the best they can or they’re barely holding on, struggling to get things done amidst the storms of life.
Saying thank you may seem so simple and irrelevant or you may think to yourself but that’s their job, why should I.
Thank you is a form of gratitude, motivation, respect , it’s a way of saying I value you, no matter how little you contribute, your contribution is priceless, You are Priceless in this moment
Thank you could be the simplest phrase yet the most dangerous phrase standing between your success and failure.
Self-pity limits you & presents you as a beggar . It cripples your abilities to push yourself beyond limits or existing barriers, it makes you look down on the greatness in you, reducing you to nothing. That gives you a hand out mindset completely tied and wired to dependence on others.
Sometime back I enrolled to study the Swedish Language(Svenska). The first three months were the most difficult moments in my whole life studying or learning anything.
It was intimidating,humiliating and at one point I felt my brain had stopped processing things. I felt like everyone was getting ahead of me, including the other students who joined in later. Despite studying hard and putting in extra effort it felt like I got nothing.
Most of the days in class I smiled since I didn’t understand anything , I struggled with pronunciation, listening etc. Some days I felt so discouraged that I never wanted to go to school but I still buried the voice of discouragement and went to school.
I wondered what made it so hard for me to learn, yet back in Uganda, I had no problem with language. Back in the day when I was a community development facilitator I worked in over 16 districts in Eastern Uganda ( mount Elgon Region, Bukedi Region, etc) . I communicated in Dhopadhola, Ateso, Lusamiya,Luganda ,Lumasaba, Kiswahili etc, some not so fluently but i would communicate. In about a month I was able to speak with ease the native language of the people in the area I worked, but Swedish just paralyzed me.
Long story short, I was surprised how well I spoke Swedish when I met a lost 5 year old who only spoke Swedish and I had to understand him to help him get home and yes, now I speak Swedish and am learning more as well.
Learning a new skill humbles you and if you are not willing to be humbled you will not get it. Learning Swedish has taught me so much , I learnt that to acquire a new skill, you need confidence in yourself. It doesn’t matter who is doing better than you, focus on your journey.
Other students’ great language skills almost made me leave school and I wouldn’t have learnt swedish. There was one of my classmates who spoke 16 international languages professionally , others 7 or 4 etc which somehow almost discouraged me since i was just struggling with one language. I was starting to think maybe these language things aren’t one of my strengths as I had once thought. But when I started focusing on my journey and closely following my progress and not others I gained confidence and learning became easier.
I also learnt persistence, no matter how bad it was , I never missed school or doing my exercises even though I felt greatly discouraged.
I also learnt that however good you are, there’s also something you can learn from someone who may seem struggling with something in a broader sense. You may be tempted to think since they are really good they know everything, no, learning never stops. There were times when the students in my opinion were great in every way, didn’t know the things i knew, which was an encouragement for me and also a point of humility for them.
The urgency or need for the skill will also boost your level of learning and keep you motivated on your low moments.
I also learnt to never be ashamed to ask for help , even when you are the only one struggling with that particular thing, you will never forget it.
In Conclusion, if you are learning a new skill and it’s humiliating you, hang in there friend, persistence, confidence, humility , team work, hard work, consistency, will get you there.
The Two Sides of Theodorah 