Navigating Blended families -Part 4

As we conclude this chapter of blended families , I share a few suggestions that migt be of Help to someone transitioning into blended family life. 

Disclaimer:
I am not a relationship expert , therapist or counselor , but these views I share are based on the interactions and experiences I have had  with various individuals who are or were raised in a blended or step family.

Plan your blended family structure and all in advance with certain basic principles to rely on as you all adjust and find your rhythm later as the family  gets to be more stable. However do not go into a blended family with a lot of expectations. Things can be unpredictable but prepare and brace for whichever situation.

Give yourself time to heal before starting a new relationship so that you have a great fresh start to prevent moving forward unhealed wounds from the previous relationship to the next one .

Just like any relationship , communication is an important aspect. Mentally , emotionally prepare yourself and the children before the commencement of building a blended family. Establish clear communication between you , your partner and the children.  Talk to your children, communicate, children understand more than they can express. Talk about things together and forge ahead together. Give them a simple explanation or insight on why the family situation is changing in the simplest way possible to match the child’s age group.

Work together as a team with your partner on various issues concerning your family so that matters concerning the family are agreed  upon  in advance to avoid contradicting opinions which may confuse the children or other parties involved or make you seem divided.

Seek professional help if you can afford to help you find balance in your life and family as well.

There is so much to share about blended families , but all in all you have to be more intentional and disciplined to make  your blended family an enjoyable experience for the children , yourself and partner.

You can also read part 1 to 3 on the links below

Navigating Blended Families Part One

Navigating Blended Families Part Two

Navigating Blended Families Part Three

Author : Akoth mary Theodorah

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NAVIGATING BLENDED FAMILIES

According to research, 1,300 step or blended families are formed everyday and 30 million children under the age of 13 are living in a step or blended family.

Currently many of us are born or raised or related to someone in a blended family.  And for some reason, we are struggling with several issues like identity crisis, hot temperedness etc. But how can we ensure that the past mistakes are not passed on to the younger generation?

On the other hand, having children doesn’t mean that your life has ended.  But, it means you have a responsibility to raise them into responsible adults who can take care of themselves and not become a burden to you and society at large.

A story is told of Amelia, a young woman, 35 years of age who met Josef and they fell in love and got married. Josef was divorced with 5 children (1 girl  and 4 boys aged  15, 12,10 , 8 and 4 respectively) and Amelia had none but they were committed to raising their children in a safe and harmonious home.

Before marriage , Josef introduced Amelia to the children on her birthday as a friend after which they would casually meet and try to let the children know Amelia and for Amelia to know the children as well.

Josef’s children quickly warmed up to Amelia except for the 10 year old boy who openly shared his feelings about how he never wanted Amelia to replace his mother and his mother would soon come back. This boy was equivalent to 10 mischievous children, he pulled all sorts of stunts  on Amelia, some even life threatening .

All in all, it is difficult to get children to blend in a blended family. Often, there will be a child or several of them who are against the whole idea of the blended family. But, there are also those who are warm and will even request their parents to get a partner. It takes a lot of patience and being intentional about several aspects of the relationship to actually make it work.

How do you as a parent maintain or create that bond between you and your children when your children are being raised by someone else. What is the fate and future of those children?

And what are the pros and cons of bringing your children into the relationship?

We have also witnessed or  heard of children being abused in some of these relationships by either partners.

How do you create a peaceful and a safe environment for the children and the spouses?

Author: Ajal Mary Theodorah

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Talk about it

Sometimes we might be struggling with certain things, yet the solutions are just within our reach. It may seem that those around us are selfish or unbothered, but it is rather because we don’t speak up.

To read the full article Click Here

Author : Ajal Mary Theodorah
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